


Not A Choice

by Catchinglikekerosene



Series: Requests and Drabbles [32]
Category: Open Heart (Visual Novels)
Genre: F/M, Fighting, Jealousy, Multi, Protective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29761230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catchinglikekerosene/pseuds/Catchinglikekerosene
Summary: Bryce finally asks Becca what happened between her and Ramsey.Prompt:9. things you said when i was crying35. things you said at the top of your lungs
Relationships: Bryce Lahela/Ethan Ramsey/Main Character (Open Heart), Bryce Lahela/Main Character (Open Heart), Ethan Ramsey/Main Character (Open Heart)
Series: Requests and Drabbles [32]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1828768
Kudos: 6





	Not A Choice

**Author's Note:**

> this is in the trials and tribulations universe

Bryce reached across the rumpled bedsheets to where Becca now sat far at the edge staring at his stark-white, décor-less wall with her back to him. 

“Becks. You’re going to that dark place again.” His expert hand tentatively caressed her bicep under the oversized sleeve of his Stanford tee. “Come back,” he commanded through a desperate, sleep-laden whisper. 

Bryce didn’t need to see her face to know her espresso colored eyes had blown to a darker shade as she fought to repress the emotions she never seem to express. They’d been through this before - _he’s_ seen her like this more times than he’d care to admit going into their second year of residency. Bryce thought they were past this, that she had moved on from whatever dragged her into the depths of unforgiving waters. 

It had been months since her last bout. 

“Stay here with me.” Now Bryce was crawling over to her, the cool air circulating through his bedroom sending a single shiver through his half-naked form. He didn’t care. Nothing else mattered besides the woman he was wrapping his secure arms around.

Becca didn’t move. Didn’t lean into him. Just kept her gaze fixed on the blank space - Bryce wished he could get inside her mind. Whatever she was seeing, he wanted to let the light in. 

He held her tighter, closer to his warmth. Bryce’s chin resting on her shoulder, amber eyes fixated on her despondent face. 

“What’re you thinking of?” 

He watched her shut her eyes slowly, as she willed her torment away. 

Silence passed. Too much silence for Bryce’s liking. But he waited. And waited. He’d wait however long she needed. 

Finally, eventually, her jaw slackened and her tongue began to form words. 

“It’s easy with you,” she sighed, eyes still shut. 

Bryce’s manicured brows pulled together in confusion; “What is?” 

Becca turned in his arms, still wrapped so protectively around her. Her guilt-filled eyes met his sea of dear amber;

“Everything.” 

Bryce pulled Becca in close, tucking her in the crook of his neck, muscular arms folded around her like a solid wall shielding her every and all torture. 

She sighed into him; her body contouring to his own like he’s always meant to fit at her side, the cold tip of her nose nuzzling against his prominent Adam’s apple. Becca’s arms remained wrapped around her midsection while Bryce’s fingers traced nonsensical patterns, willfully coaxing her to open up. 

He had a hunch on what’s thrown her into a tizzy. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Always.” 

“Um…” _Fuck_ , he didn’t know how to broach the subject. Bryce doesn’t want to know but he’s gotta... 

“What happened between you and Ramsey?” 

Her eyes went wide and she went rigid in his arms. Bryce could’ve sworn she stopped breathing if it wasn’t for the faint tickling of warm air against his neck. 

He continued, “You’ve been… weird lately.” 

A strangled breath escaped her lips. In this moment she couldn’t be sure if she was relieved to let someone in on her deepest secret, or if she was afraid of losing Bryce all together with the breaking news. 

Things have been eating away at her for the last week and a half. 

Although Bryce was just a surgeon, he was one of the top graduates in his class. He’s astute and brilliant even against the stigma of his specialization. He _knew_ Becca was seeing someone at the end of last year. He just didn’t know who or what happened besides Sienna’s tiptoeing around the subject of Becca’s broken heart. Then the rumors of the fight she had with Ramsey nearly two weeks ago - the big blowout circulating the gossip mill - he knew before she even told him the truth.

Becca pulled away from him, her lips pressing together and her eyes refusing to meet his and glazing over.

And Bryce knew. 

> Becca sulked towards the Diagnostic’s Office, dreading what’s to come. She and Bryce had stumbled into a supply closet for a much needed stress-relieving session. No more than two minutes into their stifled giggling affair, a livid colleague unlocked the door from the outside. Greeted with the sight of Becca pinned against the wall with Bryce’s hands pawing at the sensitive skin below her shirt, and their lips locked in familiarity. The couple knew who the intruder was just by the deep huffs emanating from the doorway. 

> And now she was on her way to face her boss after that awkward encounter. 

> The moment she shut the door, joining the half drawn blinds of the endless windowed walls that make up the diagnostics office, Ethan blew up. 

> “What are you doing?” he spat, arms folded as he stood rigid in front of his desk. The rhetorical question wrapped in distain as he continued, “Put your career ahead of your lustful whims for once.”

> That was a slap in her fucking face, whether he meant it to be or not. 

> “Excuse you,” she maliciously retorted. 

> Becca met his stance and gaze, her shoulders squared and ready for this inane fight. The blacks of her pupils overtook over her irises as her eyes readied the canons from in the abyss. She met the rough, dark waters of his own already prepared for battle. In any normal circumstance, the ship could never fare in tortured waters, but Becca was determined not to drown. 

> Ethan’s long fingers rubbed at the space above his brows feeling a migraine brewing. He was looking at the floor when he all but yelled his rebut, “What do you hope to gain from spending all your time with that - that _scalpel jockey_?” 

> His hand dropped to his side, palm bracing itself on the wood of his desk. He looked at Becca - really looked at her for the first time in weeks. For the first time since he returned from the Amazon and told himself and her that they were never anything more than colleagues. That everything that happened between them was a mistake. 

> She could see it all on his face - every single lie evident in the creases of his features he tried so hard to hide. The utter torture and jealousy he felt was palpable. 

> Yet she didn’t care. 

> _Couldn’t_ care. 

> It was much too late for this. Months too late. Ethan had forfeited that right when he broke her heart and ran away without so much as a goodbye. _He_ had no right to bring Bryce into this. He _has no right_ to comment on her personal life. It - all of it and where they’re standing here right now - was his decision to keep things simply business between them. _He didn’t even want to be friends!_ With a wave of his finger, just like that, he became Dr. Ramsey the attending and she resorted to just another second-year resident on his team. Nothing more, nothing less, nothing else. 

> Now she was the livid one. 

> Becca rolled her eyes and took one step further into the office. Her movements as calculated as a predator on its prey. 

> A few more calculated steps until she’s right behind one of the chairs separating them - her fingers digging into the leather at the top of the back rest. Ethan watched her carefully and with expert precision. She hadn’t said anything. He braced himself for the inevitable verbal slapping he knew she was plotting in these bated seconds passing without a single noise besides the hum of the fluorescent bulbs. 

> Even though he watched. Even though he saw the muscles in her tensed jaw relax enough to begin to form her rebuttal. Even though he knew it was coming, Ethan Ramsey wasn’t ready for the assault. 

> “Love? A relationship? An _actual future_?” she all but growled, desperately trying to keep her voice from raising an octave. Her alabaster cheeks flared crimson and he could see the whites of her knuckles ever so clearly as she struggled to keep her composure. 

> He’d never seen her so cold and a part of him regretfully realized he made her this way. 

> “A life,” she continued her calculated rant. “I’m sorry you’ve chosen the job over all happiness, but I’m not like that, Ethan. _I’m not you_. I want something more! A life outside of this hospital!” A small squeal escaped her with the latter as her emotions began bubbling over. 

> “You can have all that,” Ethan affirmed, tone serious like he was speaking to a disobedient child. He pushed himself off his desk and came to stand right before the seat of the chair she was using for support. His glare was certain, authority seeping through the crevices' of the syllables, “Once your residency is over.” 

> Becca couldn’t help the roll of her eyes nor the disdainful scoff that left her lips. It was the same argument, _nay rationale_ , over and over again; they couldn’t have a single conversation without him bringing up her potential. Ethan Ramsey was a broken record clinging onto an ideal that wasn’t mutually exclusive. 

> “Your professional development is too important. I can help make you the best doctor you can be and then...” 

> He reached for her, his body moving before he could realize what he was doing and squash it. 

> Becca was quicker. 

> She leaned back a half step, leaving his hand suspended midair in between them. Her eyes flit from the gesture and up to his telling stare. The blues had cleared to the color of a calming sea and all his militant trenches from before had smoothed over - all she could see was herself in his eyes. She could see the memories of the nights they’ve shared together over dinner and in his bed; she could pick out every sentiment he didn’t know how to say. All she could feel was the electricity coursing through her veins at the memory of his touch playing out in the flecks of green of his irises, and the subsequent embers alighting from within her. Every part of this man before her was pleading for her. But this man was not her Ethan. No, her Ethan disappeared ages ago, leaving Dr. Ramsey in his place. They looked exactly the same, they only had minute differences between them, but this is how Becca Lao is able to separate the two clinging to the things that make them different - how she’s able to work by Dr. Ramsey’s side day by day without letting the lingering pain Ethan left in his wake consume her. She needed to hold onto the distinction. 

> And right now it was getting really fucking hard. 

> “I - I can’t spend anymore unnecessary time with you, Ethan. It hurts too much.” 

> Becca swallowed the lump forming in her throat, choking her as his deep blues attempt to pull her back in. She’s a good swimmer though. Letting go of the chair she used as a raft, Becca began to drift away, one small step at a time. 

> “Rookie,” the word a small whisper as Ethan grasped her elbow before she could turn away completely. This was the first time all year he’s used the term of endearment. 

> That did it. 

> That shallow plea was the final wave that overtook her. 

> Becca froze in place, tears welling up in her eyes as the parts of her under his hold succumbed to the suffocating warmth. She refused to look at him. Once glance at Ethan and she too would become fully submerged. Every instinct in her body screamed to turn towards him. There was still so much she wanted to say: _I can’t work with you anymore._

> _I can’t be on your team no matter how much I’ve wanted this. I can’t look you in the eye._

> _I love you._

> _I need to separate myself and Bryce is helping me move on._

> She stood there colder than ice in his grasp, refusing to give him another second of her time. As he looked at the back of her head, noting how her skin wasn’t reacting to his touch with the precious little goosebumps like she used to, Ethan Ramsey considered telling her everything. 

> He wanted to tell her to stay. That he’s sorry for putting her through this, for pushing her away every chance he got. He wanted to tell her he hasn’t slept as well since the last time she was in his arms. That she’s all he thinks about. He wanted to be with her and make this better, but his personal ethics got in the way. 

> _He got in the way_. 

> So he receded like an ebbing tide and let her make her way back to the glittering shore. 

Becca expelled the words woefully, “If I had a choice…” 

“Don’t you?” Bryce countered. 

The two lovers now sitting at opposite sides of the bed, facing on another. Becca had a pillow in her lap which she held tightly as she told Bryce of her history with Ethan Ramsey and of what happened in his office - of the foolish revelation she had while fighting with the infuriating attending. 

Rebecca Lao hates how she’s drawn to Ethan - like some sick sadistic fuck that enjoys this kind of torture and never learns that one day she could swallow too much water and finally drown. If Becca had a choice she’d choose Bryce every time. He’s caring, supportive, and full of love - unashamed love. Unashamed to love _her_. 

She shook her head, fingers playing with the edge of the pillow case and refusing to meet his stare. “You can’t help who-” she began and caught herself before she could finish that sentence “There’s just something there.” 

Bryce shook his head trying to comprehend what she’s just admitted as she’s cuddled up half naked in the bed they called theirs the last few months. 

Finally her eyes met his in what felt like hours. Her words soft spoken in laden honesty, “I want so badly to run off into the sunset with you.” 

Becca searched Bryce’s demeanor for any form of scorn. True to form she couldn’t find a single ounce. 

“But you can’t help who you love, I get it,” he shrugged and shot her one of his signature smiles, “You loved Ramsey first.” 

Rebecca Lao didn’t deserve Bryce Lahela. 

**Author's Note:**

> idk what that metaphor is but it’s there and it happened. thank you for making it this far 💕
> 
> tumblr: utterlyinevitable


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